I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
