I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize