Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
