I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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