Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
