if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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