i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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