No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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