i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
