Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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