we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
