yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
