Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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