I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we're making bets on your personal life
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
