My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
