So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
two words: eviction party
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
