I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
