he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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