is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
