I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
