I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
