Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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