Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
