Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
