Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
