Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
