Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize