Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
