she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
