they need to just BURY HIM!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
