He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
