thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
