Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
