You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
