No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
