Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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