oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize