RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
