Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
