i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize