I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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