I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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