The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
