Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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