You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
