There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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