Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
