last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
