i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
