i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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