he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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