is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize