I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
handjob tips. give me some.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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