I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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