i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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