At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
