hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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