Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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