My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
