Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
