All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
