Nicole vs. Life
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
